Journals82
Newest
04 02 10
2 min read
So.
The sun is shining, and I hope it stays this way.
I'm wearing shorts for the first time since last summer.
My birthday was yesterday and it was amazing.
I got ice cream cake, which is rare.
I went to a Kingdoms show with a bunch of people I love.
I got the prettiest, comfiest hoodie I've ever had there.
We ditched the show to walk to the Giant Tiger in the sunset.
I moshed and got hit in the face more than once. It was awesome.
My best friend plans on coming over tomorrow and we're going to watch Mean Girls and pig out.
My Canon came back from repairs yesterday. It works so beautifully, I'm dying.
My other best friend's coming over in a half hour and I'm going to take photos of her that AREN'T badly focused and AREN'T blurry for the first time in way too long.
I cleaned my room last weekend. Fresh starts are the best.
Haley bought me a polaroid for my birthday and I'm looking into getting film for it off of theimpossibleproject.com. I don't care if it's expensive, I'm not all that attached to money.
I'm getting over my various infections and bronchitis. I think I can actually hear out of my ear today.
I really, really like being single. To be honest, I'm too young to worry about assholes.
I'm putting effort into using capital letters right now.
My mom recently told me I have $40 000 in the bank for school. I thought I had nothing.
I picked my courses for grade twelve. Six I like (Media Studies, Journalism, World Issues, Graphic Art and Design, Advanced English and Fine Art) and four to fill up time (AP Psychology, Law, General Science and Nutrition).
I've lost 10 pounds even though I run on a constant diet of McDonalds. Although, a lot of it is probably due to sickness. But I still feel kinda pretty.
My birthday dinner with all my closest friends is in a couple hours.
I'm somehow seventeen. It feels weird. And old.
I'm happy, and I'm going to stay this way.
OH, AND FIVE PEOPLE GAVE ME LLAMA BADGES AND I WANT TO GIVE THEM ALL A BIG HUG!
The sun is shining, and I hope it stays this way.
I'm wearing shorts for the first time since last summer.
My birthday was yesterday and it was amazing.
I got ice cream cake, which is rare.
I went to a Kingdoms show with a bunch of people I love.
I got the prettiest, comfiest hoodie I've ever had there.
We ditched the show to walk to the Giant Tiger in the sunset.
I moshed and got hit in the face more than once. It was awesome.
My best friend plans on coming over tomorrow and we're going to watch Mean Girls and pig out.
My Canon came back from repairs yesterday. It works so beautifully, I'm dying.
My other best friend's coming over in a half hour and I'm going to take photos of her that AREN'T badly focused and AREN'T blurry for the first time in way too long.
I cleaned my room last weekend. Fresh starts are the best.
Haley bought me a polaroid for my birthday and I'm looking into getting film for it off of theimpossibleproject.com. I don't care if it's expensive, I'm not all that attached to money.
I'm getting over my various infections and bronchitis. I think I can actually hear out of my ear today.
I really, really like being single. To be honest, I'm too young to worry about assholes.
I'm putting effort into using capital letters right now.
My mom recently told me I have $40 000 in the bank for school. I thought I had nothing.
I picked my courses for grade twelve. Six I like (Media Studies, Journalism, World Issues, Graphic Art and Design, Advanced English and Fine Art) and four to fill up time (AP Psychology, Law, General Science and Nutrition).
I've lost 10 pounds even though I run on a constant diet of McDonalds. Although, a lot of it is probably due to sickness. But I still feel kinda pretty.
My birthday dinner with all my closest friends is in a couple hours.
I'm somehow seventeen. It feels weird. And old.
I'm happy, and I'm going to stay this way.
OH, AND FIVE PEOPLE GAVE ME LLAMA BADGES AND I WANT TO GIVE THEM ALL A BIG HUG!
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03.17.10.
12 min read
my subscription expires in six days (boo!) so I figured I should feature things while I can. (:
I'll write another journal in a couple days rambling about a ton of stuff. it's been a while.
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I'll write another journal in a couple days rambling about a ton of stuff. it's been a while.
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:thumb147242619: by sunday you'll be gone.by monday she has your name tattooed across her left breast because that's where her heart is
but hell, you could care less about that. you just like to press your undeserving hands against the tattoo and
hell, it hurts her so much
but her eyes are full of tears and half-open eyelids and all she can see are your lips opened, like they're about to say 'i love you'.
[they're not.]
--
by wednesday she is wishing you a happy one month anniversary and between lusty looks that she misreads for love she is telling you that no word in english rhymes with month or purple which, by the way, is her favorite color.
she is telling you that your eyes stay the same size since you were born but that she thinks your heart can grow.
you are telling her you don't believe her.
you are living proof that she is wrong.
--
by sunday she is calling you four times a day. the first time you want to make her sweat a little so you don't answer. you are imagining her naked body leaving behind droplets of sweat as y
Mature Content
then and now.then.
the world was made of red, blue, and yellow,
and school was a borderless place.
when the grass was green,
and tickled your feet as you ran.
the little girls looked up to Britney Spears,
and the Spice Girls, because
they were such strong women.
the little boys dreamed of being Superman,
and Spiderman, because
they always got the girl.
when you danced to the seeming innocent
bubbly sounds of Aqua,
and wrapping only referred to Christmas presents.
a time when you were happy,
and smiled.
now.
the world is in the grey scale,
and school is filled with walls.
the grass is dull and yellow,
and gets smushed under your Converse Chucks.
the girls all want an Edward Cullen,
or a "Dear John", because
they were hot.
the boys all want a Megan Fox,
or a Jessica Simpson because
they had big boobs.
when you dance dirtily to the rhymes
of Lil' Wayne,
and Santa Claus no long is real.
a time when everything makes you angry or sad,
and you wept.
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:thumb154751423: the past is just practice.we spent last summer blowing kisses that never made it to their destinations. and now i don’t know what to say to you to make all those wasted words seem right. it’s like we were waiting for our first kiss but neither of us had the guts to make the first move so instead we lay side by side not touching, not moving, breathing on opposite intervals. i’d say your name but you weren’t listening. you’d whisper i love you but you didn’t mean it. it was summer and you should have tried smiling with your eyes.
___
last autumn, we were flying paper airplanes with our wishes into the wind but they kept coming back to us. so you would tell me that we were young and we still had time. that the wind would die. that everything dies eventually and then we could finally breathe wishes that we wouldn’t have to swallow again. we could whisper the words we’ve been needing to hear. but every other day, i was losing track of what to say to you. we were sitting in the
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before, beforei am only just thirteen. he is sixteen. i am in love/lust/crush.:thumb142223902:
my best friends big brother, or friends ex boyfriend, is tall. once or twice i imagined kissing him. but he never would. he is friends with the boy who is sixteen. and besides he is my best friends big brother or my friend's ex boyfriend. and i am not a bad person.
i am tall too, you know. i am stretched skyward but there was no more to stretch, just bone. so i am not really that tall at all. but i pretend i am. how tall are you? oh above average, you know, pretty tall.
the brother says want to come and see j? and my heart leaps and i sing yes but he only hears a nod and there's no time to change. my chest is flat and my shirt doesn't cover my belly button but i don't really mind, you know, it's brown and flat like stretches of australia my father used to talk about. that's me; land.
the air is the kind of cool it only ever is at nighttime. not winter, no that's a different kind. you can tell by the night-y smell and the
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12. 23. 09.
4 min read
so,
my very very very lovely friend RyanTheriault gave me a three month subscription.
go minions, give him some holiday flavored loveee.
merry christmas (or whatever you celebrate) and happy new year!
I think I plan on being more creative this year, and to not be so worried about minor details in life. maybe I'll make more lame resolutions in the next week, but those are the current ones.
I'm actually really excited for 2010 to begin.
I'm in quite the good mood, in case that hasn't been obvious yet. I love christmas, it's definitely my favorite holiday, and this month has been lovely. I have given out all but one of my gifts, and my boyfriend came over today to give me the puuuurdiest necklace ever. I'm spending the next few days with my family, and I definitely plan on making the most of the break from school. I'm slowly getting back on track with uploading - I seem to be better at that during the winter months than in the summer.
my camera is basically broken, and I'm dreading sending it away - which I plan on doing at some point in January. hopefully I'll be getting it back before my birthday in april. it won't autofocus on any settings other than flash off and auto and I'm shit with manual focus. I've been dealing with it since the summer, and it's just gotten to the point where I'm rather discouraged and would really like to smash it up against the wall. I was dreading sending it off, but I think it's become pretty necessary. now I'm simply looking forward to it working again.
I want apple cider so bad, but all the stores are sold out and the snow is too high to go anywhere. now I just feel like dancing around and being merry.
hope everyones good!
Jess
my very very very lovely friend RyanTheriault gave me a three month subscription.
go minions, give him some holiday flavored loveee.
merry christmas (or whatever you celebrate) and happy new year!
I think I plan on being more creative this year, and to not be so worried about minor details in life. maybe I'll make more lame resolutions in the next week, but those are the current ones.
I'm actually really excited for 2010 to begin.
I'm in quite the good mood, in case that hasn't been obvious yet. I love christmas, it's definitely my favorite holiday, and this month has been lovely. I have given out all but one of my gifts, and my boyfriend came over today to give me the puuuurdiest necklace ever. I'm spending the next few days with my family, and I definitely plan on making the most of the break from school. I'm slowly getting back on track with uploading - I seem to be better at that during the winter months than in the summer.
my camera is basically broken, and I'm dreading sending it away - which I plan on doing at some point in January. hopefully I'll be getting it back before my birthday in april. it won't autofocus on any settings other than flash off and auto and I'm shit with manual focus. I've been dealing with it since the summer, and it's just gotten to the point where I'm rather discouraged and would really like to smash it up against the wall. I was dreading sending it off, but I think it's become pretty necessary. now I'm simply looking forward to it working again.
I want apple cider so bad, but all the stores are sold out and the snow is too high to go anywhere. now I just feel like dancing around and being merry.
hope everyones good!
Jess
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11.14.09.
3 min read
so hi.
I'm still terribly behind at updating here, and for that, I apologize.
life has been pretty interesting since I last updated. I'm pretty much head over heels in love, and it's kinda nice, albeit scary.
I started NaNoWriMo, and I'm already behind. I'm currently a bit over 9,000 words. meaning, I have 41 000 more to write before november 30th, (Y)
I don't even want to think about how much more I have to do.
please read this part, even if you ignore the rest of the journal: I'm in advanced english this year, and as our year project we can do anything we want, as long as it takes a large amount of time. for my project I chose to do a photo novel: I'll have a photo on one page, and a piece of poetry or prose on the other, and they'll connect in some way. the main part of this project though, is that I need to explore editing techniques and grow on what I already know. so if you guys have any good tips or links to websites that could help me learn how to edit my photos, that'd be appreciated.
in other news, I miss the summer desperately. I think I'm a little bit in love with it.
I guess I do love the snow, hot chocolate and christmas time,
but I don't like this time of year: when everything's simply ugly and cold. no snow, yet no warmth.
speaking of which, I started christmas shopping today, and I'm beyond excited now. christmas is definitely my favorite holiday, and I know this will probably end up sounding fake, but I really love the whole giving part of it. I love buying things for my friends, and planning it all out, and finding the perfect thing for each person, and wrapping it all up, and seeing their expressions when they open it… alalalala! I'm so in the christmas spirit now. I don't think it can come quickly enough!
I haven't had school since monday, and it's going to be a pain going back to it.
oh. and JACK ILU.
just 'cause I know how special I feel when you include me in your journals... but I really don't have anything to say about you here.
<3
[ p.s: this song is amazing; www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur0bA7… ]
I'm still terribly behind at updating here, and for that, I apologize.
life has been pretty interesting since I last updated. I'm pretty much head over heels in love, and it's kinda nice, albeit scary.
I started NaNoWriMo, and I'm already behind. I'm currently a bit over 9,000 words. meaning, I have 41 000 more to write before november 30th, (Y)
I don't even want to think about how much more I have to do.
please read this part, even if you ignore the rest of the journal: I'm in advanced english this year, and as our year project we can do anything we want, as long as it takes a large amount of time. for my project I chose to do a photo novel: I'll have a photo on one page, and a piece of poetry or prose on the other, and they'll connect in some way. the main part of this project though, is that I need to explore editing techniques and grow on what I already know. so if you guys have any good tips or links to websites that could help me learn how to edit my photos, that'd be appreciated.
in other news, I miss the summer desperately. I think I'm a little bit in love with it.
I guess I do love the snow, hot chocolate and christmas time,
but I don't like this time of year: when everything's simply ugly and cold. no snow, yet no warmth.
speaking of which, I started christmas shopping today, and I'm beyond excited now. christmas is definitely my favorite holiday, and I know this will probably end up sounding fake, but I really love the whole giving part of it. I love buying things for my friends, and planning it all out, and finding the perfect thing for each person, and wrapping it all up, and seeing their expressions when they open it… alalalala! I'm so in the christmas spirit now. I don't think it can come quickly enough!
I haven't had school since monday, and it's going to be a pain going back to it.
oh. and JACK ILU.
just 'cause I know how special I feel when you include me in your journals... but I really don't have anything to say about you here.
<3
[ p.s: this song is amazing; www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur0bA7… ]
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09. 14. 09.
2 min read
"say a prayer.
the summer nights are dead, the fall is coming.
we were careless hearts, who got caught up in this.
you were shy: to the night you drove me wild,
and you crashed into me.
and I won't lie, I wish it lasted a lifetime."
--
so.
sad news: summer's over. which sucks, as this summer was by far the best of my life.
school started last wednesday, and already I'm stressed to breaking point. mostly due to social situations, not so much because of schooling. hopefully, that will all be over soon.
I actually like my classes this year. it's probably because grade eleven is the year that you can choose a fair amount of your classes based on your interests.
this term I have:
Independent Living (teaching you how to live on your own)
Math
Advanced English <3 (with my best friend)
Graphic Art and Design
History.
I also have friends in each class, luckily.
next term I have:
Writing
Biology
Advanced English
Psychology
Math.
PUUUMPED.
in other news.
falling out of love, but in love at the same time is really bittersweet.
I've realized that I know almost nothing about life and love, and I have a long way to go.
oh. and I know I've been basically dead on this site.
forgive me.
I'm terrible at uploading, and now I'm so swamped with art I don't even know where to begin.
I'll start that all soon, though.
-Jess <3
--
"please stay-ay-ay.
won't you stay-ay-ay?
tonight.
breathe in deep and say goodbye.
the saddest song I'll ever write for anyone, anytime.
breathe in deep before I say,
I can feel us slip away.
you're almost gone, you're good as gone.
August is over."
the summer nights are dead, the fall is coming.
we were careless hearts, who got caught up in this.
you were shy: to the night you drove me wild,
and you crashed into me.
and I won't lie, I wish it lasted a lifetime."
--
so.
sad news: summer's over. which sucks, as this summer was by far the best of my life.
school started last wednesday, and already I'm stressed to breaking point. mostly due to social situations, not so much because of schooling. hopefully, that will all be over soon.
I actually like my classes this year. it's probably because grade eleven is the year that you can choose a fair amount of your classes based on your interests.
this term I have:
Independent Living (teaching you how to live on your own)
Math
Advanced English <3 (with my best friend)
Graphic Art and Design
History.
I also have friends in each class, luckily.
next term I have:
Writing
Biology
Advanced English
Psychology
Math.
PUUUMPED.
in other news.
falling out of love, but in love at the same time is really bittersweet.
I've realized that I know almost nothing about life and love, and I have a long way to go.
oh. and I know I've been basically dead on this site.
forgive me.
I'm terrible at uploading, and now I'm so swamped with art I don't even know where to begin.
I'll start that all soon, though.
-Jess <3
--
"please stay-ay-ay.
won't you stay-ay-ay?
tonight.
breathe in deep and say goodbye.
the saddest song I'll ever write for anyone, anytime.
breathe in deep before I say,
I can feel us slip away.
you're almost gone, you're good as gone.
August is over."
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